Saturday, 5 September 2015

Family Wedding and various troubles

In August this year I went to my first family wedding. It was your traditional big white church wedding that you see on TV and for the most part it was fun, but for the price that my aunt and her husband were paying I expected a bit more.....

Sinister Jesus of the Church of England is coming for you
To be fair the ceremony was beautiful but the church was creepy inside (it wasn't a Catholic church so I didn't know what to expect), there was a large statue of Jesus hanging above where they were standing and it kind of brought along with it a different mood, it looked almost sinister.

I bought a camera so that I along with the professional photographer she had hired could capture these memories, but he never took any pictures while they were saying their vows, I found that a bit odd, I also found it odd that there was no "You may now kiss the bride" line, I videoed the full vows just for that moment but it never came. The ceremony was quite short so we weren't bored but the priest was very cheeky and not in a good way, when my aunt was doing a run through at the church some days before and asked in front of the people there for £600 and on the day of the wedding asked all the guest for a small donation, in my book that is an A class cunt.


Bride and Groom say their vows
I did better than the photographer 



After all of pictures in front of the church it was off to the venue where we were bound for a fun filled family day, the venue itself was supposed to be a hotel but I didn't expect it to be so small again they paid quite a bit of money so I expected a biggish room but to be fair it was a bit cramped, we had to wait for quite a while for our food, but in that time it was an opportunity for the adults to get the drinks flowing (myself included with my various small bottles of Malibu that would slip into my coke) The food was good and that is something that cannot be faulted, with the sit down three course meal came with it various free drinks including bubbly and wine for the adults and a glass of coke for the kids, even after the meal there was a free cup of coffee or tea (probably to sober you up for a bit before the night do started) 
Proud of you Granddad for such an amazing speech! 
My granddad did the best speech out of everyone, he said a short but sweet piece and even quoted me in it, which I was very surprised to find the meaning of later on, but the best man which is supposed to be the one where all the nitty gritty stuff came out, was in my opinion very boring, his jokes were very flat and he didn't speak loud enough for people to actually hear him and don't get me started on them punch lines cause he just didn't deliver as well as he probably thought he could.
Damn right we are table number 1!

Pretty top table, the blue and white is consistent

I'm currently having cake withdrawals because it was that nice.....


After all that was out of the way, we were placed in the compartment next to the room where we had eaten for it to be transformed from day to night, there was a small outside bit where all of the smokers were located (There were a lot) and my mothers surprise for the guests arrived, a magician! (who specialised in card tricks) who was not fond of children oops! This wedding was like a child's party, all of the bride and grooms friends had kids and of course they were all there and followed the poor man around like a mother duck and h(is)er ducklings.

My 18 year old brother even got up for a jig (middle)
The night do was more like a kids party than the wedding, if it wasn't for the colour coordinated decorations, wedding cake and the DJ constantly reminding people that this was "Michelle and Steve's Wedding" then you would have thought there was going to be a round of pass the parcel, I think I spent majority of the night staring off into space than actually doing anything, there was various bits keeping kids entertained while their parents got pissed including a photo-booth, chocolate fountain and all the kids party classic songs including Gangnam Style, Cha Cha Slide and the Macarena



 There was also not one but two dances. The first was the romantic first dance to none other than Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud and then a Father daughter dance to Robbie William's Angels, it was a beautiful sight to see and even the cutting of the cake seemed like a very special moments.
A kiss and a cuddle on the dance-floor
Goodbye my daughter


Hurry up so I can eat
All in all my first big white wedding experience was quite good, although I'm still upset that I was not asked to be a bridesmaid and my younger sister was I had more fun than I thought I would, although I do think my aunt should have took up my granddad's offer and just got married in Spain, I think that the day was so special and beautiful that you could forget that the Grooms not so nice family didn't make an effort as much as our family did, but we are glad that he is the new addition to our family.

Unconscious idiot drank on an empty stomach and passed out in the car